Brief Message From His Encumbering Presence

While articles will always appear on Sundays, not all Sundays will appear with articles in them. This is to keep you on your toes.  

(Bloody Encumbents who have a toe to hold their Sandals on. You should feel honoured to have been gifted My unique "Toe Sandal Without a Toe.")

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I'm not kidding. Stop asking about the Cucumber Of The Encumber or you may experience My Toe. Which also doesn't exist, damnit.