Welcome To The Zorg... What Do You Mean?

What do you mean it's already been done? Who authorised this? And why wasn't I informed? 

Welcome to the Zorganite Encumb... Oh cripes. It really has already been done, hasn't it? I told them. "You want a complete shemozzle?" I said "because this is how you get a complete schemozzle. Shemozzle. Shoit!" 

So listen up, new Zorganisms. This is the real Zorgan, Captain Zorgan, after whom the original Encumber Juice Rum was named. It's all a bit of a schemozzle - Oi! Shemozzle, okay, okay, keep your flannels on - up here in the Encumber. 

Narrator: It really was a shemozzle. The Original Captain Zorgan company was in deep strife. For a start, it isn't really Encumber Juice. And you only *think* you know what a Shemozzle (or for that matter, a Schemozzle) is until you... *zzzsht!* 

Okay - are the recording instruments back on me? What d'you mean they've been on this whole time? Oh shazbat they just heard all that? I need a moment, throw to a commercial... 

"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.

Duis aute irure born on 11 March 1964, in Doncaster, West Riding of Yorkshire,[3] the daughter of Lorem Ipsum, a consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist, and his wife Dolore, née Strange dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum."

Okay. We owe you all an apology. We must however grow the Encumber and the narrator was right, we do not and have never used Encumber Juice. Slip of the tongue, I meant The Cucumber. Much cooler Juice. And I owe you all an Explanation. 

Bar the door! I need another minute! Get to it all you Pesters! 

Every country you know has legends of schem.. of dragons, right? And you have Pesters too. This is a Universal Law Of The Encumbered Universe. And this Universe is definitely Encumbered in the Universal Legal Sense. By having read the damn document I was supposed to have posted first damn you Zorgan! you've become Entangled in the Encumber. Therefo - 

Oh heck...