The # Was That?
We've spoken to the purveyor of this communication system. They assure us that it's only "hackers" (???) or "spammers." (??? People who throw tinned processed ham? OMFSM this planet is soooo weird!) Also, it's the founder's most venerated birth canal ejection day on Terra. (Soooooooooo weird...)
Tell me - do your "hackers" murder porcine Earthlings and provide the hacked flesh to "spammers" who turn it into tinned food? Do you have some people called "hammers" that just cut out the middleman and - WTFSM? THAT'S what Spam is? I - I - I was joking. Then I googled it - I'm a bit disgusted. Actually - really really REALLY making me want to puke!
I think it's time we had "the talk," don't you? Let's start. Psychology. Specifically, Adeledicnander electron psychology. Once you know how those little buggers think, you can get them to do anything. Even shoot Clackships from one spot to the other, instantly. If you hurt their feelings, on the other hand, they'll only ever do the most basic tasks for you. I'm beginning to see why Terra is so slow in developing.
Only things of value have value. Things like all the other living things in your "ecosystems" (which, I hate to tell you, are actually there for Terra not for you, you're just another filter like we all are) and which you're now exploiting for this thing you call "currency."
OMFSM! I just read the Salmonidae joke in that interjected message.
THE TALK
You need to stop using this "currency" as an excuse for savagery. You really really do. Zorgan II Its Excellency The Boss Zorgan of the 7.889238E+17th second of this Most Piratey Universe, and who had the extraordinary fortune to live for a full five seconds past his Use By Date, put it this way: "Don't pick daisies, dey got feelin's too! Don't eat no other critter, even if some of them wants to eat you. Use Adeledicnander logic on them, zap them wi... Aaaaaghaaack!"
Let me put it this way:
How many ₿itcoin would you accept in return for letting something eat you or chop you up and stuff you into tins? (Oh, hang on...) I may have made a bit of a faux pas in using ₿. Oh my goodness, yes! I'll start again using more appealing currency.
How many AUD$ would you accept in return for letting something eat you or chop you up, blend your bits, and stuff those remains into tins? And don't bitch to me about using AUD$ - it may be low in value but it keeps its value constant. Schemozzles!
Sorry - my comms time is about to be cu
*click*
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