We Interrupt This Message System!

Hello, we are from the government and we are here to help. We have noted that this communications channel has been used by the Zorganite Encumber. Remember that we are here to help. Accordingly, though, we must warn you that this "Captain Zorgan" is a most wily creature and can be dangerous too. We therefore extend a shlizz of welcome to you and hope that we can shake shlizzs, and find the Captain.

Can you smell a faint aroma of smoke? That's a caution. You may already be too late. We certainly hope you didn't partake of any drinks made with Captain Zorgan's Elixir. Only one other Earthling has ever survived a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. And you know what happened to them... (ooo! slanted letters! You call them "Italics"? What a nice archaic device for a nice archaic communications medium!)

You have salmon (fish) here on the planet. We have them too, and many many other species, and thank FSM for all the fish. There are some incisive thinkers among their number, and they stand credited with the admirable concept of cloacas for Clackertech. Really frugal engineering. However, Rayfward III claims that they heard an Earthling hominid joke about Earthling salmonidae which they find vaguely disturbing:

Hominid: "Hello! We have a colour named after you! Isn't that cool?"

Salmonid: "Ooh! Nice! Is it a steely blue colour like my scales then?"

Hominid: "Um..."

Salmonid: "?"

Hominid: " "

Salmonid: "It's pink! Pink! Why is it pink?"

Hominid: " "

Salmonid: "WHY IS IT PINK? WHY IS IT PINK?"

As a duly elected, accredited, appointed in triplicate, bona fides representative of Pan Galaxia, I must confess myself to also be puzzled by this. 

We shall investigate, and while we do, we will pause the CZI (The Captain Zorgan Investigation) in this region. I'm from the PG government and I'm here to help, have a nice day!

(Under PG rating approval seal.)